Today, while having lunch with the lunch circle, on hearing my different perspective on some topic of boys-Vs-girls debate I became the target whose legs were pulled till the time we had lunch. They started challenging me to date any girl on the world’s hottest app”-Tinder. Since my loneliness friend is still learning the tricks & trade of life in modifying the CODE, I don’t think that he’s ready to rush into these blushy feelings.
But this talk moved out the buried part or in the process of being buried part of my blushy side of the life- The Crush. Normally these things come out when people play Truth & Dare while having drinks with friends or when somebody wants to lighten up by sharing his/her dirty secret to their soulmates around 12 in midnight when not able to sleep. The questions on Crush are normally like ‘What’s his/her name?’ or ‘When you realized that she/he is your crush?’.
Once Upon a Time…
The story goes back when it was around Christmas last year and as normal IT migrants due to long weekend I took some leaves and was going to hometown. It was then when my long 15 hour train journey with my loneliness friend began. Suddenly within 1-2 hours my friend was smiling all the while unnecessarily. Since I was facing some uncle on the train birth he asked ‘ भाई क्या हुआ? ये बार बार हस् क्यों रहे हो??’ maybe my smile made him feel awkward making him doubt whether something is wrong with him. This was when my loneliness friend tried to realize why he’s happy sometimes more and only thinks and cares for that one girl that he’s friend of. Ever since she got busy busy with the project, he can only remember her smile and her habits. He can’t think of anything else in his happy moments. Considering the fact that the feelings should be about excitement about meeting his family and not about missing her?
This question made me undergo through some sleepless nights. My friend’s adventurous dreams were compromised with this girl coming many times to give him company as in office where people go with their friends to give them company for tea and blah, blah, blah. It made me delve deep for answers and I got the reply. My quest led me to this http://www.wikihow.com/Recognize-That-You-Have-a-Crush-on-Someone . The thing is for the first time he’s found a best friend in a female.Whether the heart is in love can’t be said because he hardly talked to other girls that much and never felt so comfortable speaking his mind. But on realization suddenly he felt awkward about it and the dreams are now not sweet but are of doubt whether what he is feeling is correct or not? and hence the disturbed sleep-deprived nights continues..
The Dilemmas
So, I put my mind through different perspective to be able to think properly. The CODE should not be broken. So
What if..
1) he gets allocated to a project and has a new beautiful girl in the project. That too of the same town he belongs. Will the heart feel the same kind of thing again?
2) he gets some companion/colleague of similar kind which works’ out in morning and thinks practically (can be categorized as similar minded person).
3) he gets to knew that a rare phenomenon happens and he gets to know that I himself is a crush of some girl.
4) he tells this girl what he feels about her and how she’ll take it? Will she remain friend or stop talking to him? (This is a no no as this will mean risking a great bond)
The situation is as very tangy and he’s not able to fit it to the lonely greatest person’s CODE. The CODE which states that he should not marry till 28 and here in corporate IT world he gets to know that the world outside still wants a girl to marry quickly after being released from college. Which means practically he can date some girl only after 4 years and she might be gone by that time(he being 26 and leaves 2 years as an incomplete journey to the inevitable).
The Conclusion
Finally the decision is to enjoy this feeling and be thankful to her for giving this painful gift apart from giving company and leave her as the best friend female(BFF) in his life. The feeling is perfectly captured in the deep lyrics of the Movie ‘Ae Dil Hai Mushkil‘ title track:
Tune diya hai jo
Woh dard hi sahi
Tujhse mila hai toh
Inaam hai mera…
Tere bina guzara
Ae dil hai mushkil
Thus slowly ‘Crushing the Crush’.
nikhilporwal7 